April 20, 2008 in Experiences, Mood, Personality Analysis, Self improvement, Social Dynamics, Social Interaction
Tags: Add new tag, confidence, Experiences, group, males, Men, Mood, Personality Analysis, Self improvement, Social Dynamics, Social Interaction
Having confidence in day to day interaction is key to becoming the leader of any group of people that you regularly associate with.
For example, at the grocery store that I work at, I make sure to talk confidently to every single person that I see at the store – every time that I see them. I don?t always have something to say, but I always make sure that it leaves somewhat of an impression.
Being confident and being a nuisance, however, are two completely different things. If you constantly talk to people and attempt to have long, drawn out conversations with them, you are being a nuisance. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Making sure to have comments that are meaningful, however, shows confidence, and people tend to rely on confident people.
That being said, there is another important rule about reliance – being someone?s servant. After your initial display of confidence, there is usually a period in which the people who value you for that very trait will begin to exploit and test you to see if your confidence holds up. What may have been a showy display of confidence one day could be your demise the next; allow me to illustrate.
One day I was stacking boxes, and I decided to organize the entire back room bailer to make sure that all the boxes were neat, organized, and that it could help everyone involved. I confidently told my manager that I was going to do this, and he agreed due to that confidence in the fact that it was indeed important. However, after this, I became ?box boy;? the guy that is always assigned to do this. Instead of showing confidence the next time that someone asked me to do it, I allowed myself to succumb to their confidence to ask. I was now at the bottom of the ladder.
Seeing myself as the weakest link in the confidence chain, I realized that something had to be done. I began diligently working on other projects all the time, never allowing myself to be caught off guard just in case someone might ask me to bale more boxes. In the process of being so busy though, my managers came to me and started to tell me that they appreciated all the hard work. I started to see all the bales being put off on people who weren’t as diligent.
Confidence was paying off… people were listening to me, I was getting things done, and most of all, I felt great about it all. The people at my work soon started approaching me due to my diligence to ask me if I could head up tasks and do some management work over people, due to my good people skills (confidence, talking to everyone) and my work ethic (not wanting to do bales.)
This is just the first in a long string of articles about confidence that are going to show up. I suggest you take a good evaluation of yourself regarding your work ethic and confidence levels, how much you talk to people, even if you are out of your comfort zone. Having confidence and good ethic, even if that ethic is fueled by a laziness for some other task, is one of the most useful things that you can possess. Confidence is really the first key to a long hallway of doors leading to success in life.
Article two on confidence will be coming soon.